I had always see a story is a way of people expressing their own feeling by telling it in their own way. A story will always be shared not told as a story will always be full of this emotions and feeling towards a certain thing.

Now concerning about just now. I was going out to my usual soup kitchen session when all of a sudden there were like a group of some our local media television channel came along with us to get a scoop on the story of a homeless person. I never gave a lot of thoughts about how a homeless people share their story of life but suddenly, as the camera start rolling and the question came in, it hits me.

Some of them don’t want to share their part of stories because of getting afraid that their families back in their home town see them in a way that they never wanted to be seen. You have this life being kept in so much secrecy to the public eyes on why do you ever become the person you are at the present state and yet, you somehow just have this kind of feeling that you want to share it. And I wasn’t mad or anything but I just remember the time when I first met the homeless community in Malaysia back when I was doing my research for designing a homeless shelter.

Back then it doesn’t hit me much to think that they will never be a person that is good enough to open up a story about themselves. I remember avoiding them just because of their bad smell and somehow I wish I can help them, in my way, that is not having to directly confront them. I was afraid of them never knowing that they are more afraid of me. I looked at them with so much pettiness when the thing that I should do is to look at them as a person who just have problems that will ease away with just a little help and a bit of a push of spirit and just a simple smile. I was naive.

Maybe that is just the reason that I felt like going back home early just now. I was looking back at my old self knowing that I used to look at these kind of people that I am happily helping them now, as someone who just begs for help. I was mad at myself.

But for whatever reason that kept me going on, I now will always know that who you are now, is what accumulates after all that year you’ve been living and you now will never always be the same as you were once was. As for that I am glad that I am who I am as a present being.

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